I'm doing much better... ::twitch twitch::
Well, I enjoyed myself while working by myself. It gave me enough time to cool off and reflect on better things that will never get done. ::COUGHartrpgstoriesetcCOUGH:: So, yeah, still, though, that girl is gonna be in my mind for a bit cause those were some very harsh words from her. Roo is disappearing into her world. In other words, on her comp. This is a good chance for me to go and relax in the bathtub, though... the hot water will only last halfway up. ^^; And when I return... I don't know!

Rant
Meh... hasn't really been a good day for me, but that's only because I'm allowing it. Actually, ever since last night, it's been crappy. I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night... I remember the last time I looked at the clock, I believe it was around 2:30 AM. I finally fell asleep and woke up to my alarm clock at 7:30 AM, yet I don't remember passing out again. I woke up exactly at 8:00 AM again and realized that I was going to be late for work if I didn't get moving.

So, here I am, at my job. That's right, I'm typing this from my job because I'm having to do overtime in manufacturing once again. I mean, it's good for the company because they are making the money for my paycheck, but bites for me. As soon as I finally get a good amount of stock built up, something always comes up to wipe it out, thus making me unprepeared for any other big orders. Blah.

As for my mood, this is mainly cause I haven't gotten over the incident that happened yesterday. I suppose this is how Josh feels about people around him? ::shrugs:: I probably don't understand his point of view. Speaking of which, reading Josh's journal and seeing him upset with Roo makes me torn because they are both my friends and... bleh. There were two friends of mine that were like that and it was hard to be their friends cause one would bad mouth the other and I was always in the middle of it. Well, I'm not saying that Roo and Josh are doing that, but I just wish thins were better. Who am I to say, though? Anyhow, wishing doesn't make results happen.

Aye, things all around are driving me nuts inside. My problem is I need to learn to ignore such situations. Not to expect sympathy from others. To take better care of myself and live life without worry.

Speaking of worrying, another thing crossed my mind as I was manufacturing units this morning. I remembered Roo wanted to visit her internet buddy, CTR. We were driving home one evening and she asked me if I would mind her going to Seattle for a week. Course, first thought is, "Why on earth would she want to go to Seattle." That's how I found out that she wanted to see her CTR pal. I told her that it's her life and I can't tell her what to do. We met CTR at Otakon last year and she was a sweet person, but way too hyper for me. Maybe in small doses, but... yeah. But, she was happy to see Roo, so it's understandable. Anyhow, so as much as I can't tell her what to do, I am going to worry about her when she is away. Mainly cause I don't really know CTR as much as Roo and I guess it's that lack of trust. ARGH! I sound like a parent! o.o;;; Confound my caring and protective side. Sorry, Roo. I just hate having to always complain about my issues to you directly. I know you don't like it. Bleh, but, hell, here it is in my diary now. Lose-lose situation, eh? I hope she tells her mother cause I hate to explain to her mom that she's off in Seattle for a week visiting an internet pal. ^^;;;

Oh, yeah, if you read this CTR, I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY appreciate it for you accepting that phone call collect. But, hey, if it serves as an issue, my cell phone has good minutes and Roo can use that if need be.

So, yeah, continuing, most of my friends say it's good to be as caring and protective as I am, but I disagree with them. As much as I care for my friends, my caring has sometimes led me into trouble. Yet, I continue to be the same.

Speaking of my friends, I think about my female friends and how they are all doing well and never really have any inner issues that occur. Then I think of myself and my other male pals and, well, we have issues. I'm sorry guys, I don't mean to be rude, but... Why have we ended up like this?

Argh... yesterday was the nail in the coffin. I completely ignored Roo all last night, which was very rude of me. I just don't really feel like talking to anyone that much, if at all. I'll probably avoid the online folks, as well. I mean, hell, here I am bitching. I'd just do the same online or in person.

I feel like just getting. Just driving, my car taking me where I want to go. With one friend, two friends, 1000 friends or no friends, I feel like escaping. Mmm... Guess I better start getting me some lotto tickets.

I rambled on long enough. You all take good care of yourselves and see ya later!

Jon

0 mints on my pillow.